He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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