she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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