Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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