My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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