it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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