At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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