apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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