she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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