My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize