3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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