do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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