Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize