battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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