i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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