Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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