I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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