I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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