i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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