my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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