i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do vagina's smell?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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