Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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