I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
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Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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