Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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