I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize