i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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