I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize