so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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