I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
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Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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