You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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