why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize