WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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