When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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