dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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