I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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