i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
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well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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