I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
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Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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