I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The air was thick with penises
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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