New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize