The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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