You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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