Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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