You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you had me at cake vodka
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize