Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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