Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
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You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize