I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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