Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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