I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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