hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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