i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize