Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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